The Power of Pause: A Simple Parenting Hack You Need to Try

Our kids need to feel connected to us to feel secure, calm, and regulated. But let’s be honest: we need that connection too. When we’re in sync with our kids, it helps us feel grounded, energized, and more confident. It’s like hitting a reset button that makes the whole day a little bit easier. But when you’re running on empty, how do you find time for connection without adding more to your already full plate?

Here’s the parenting hack I swear by: the power of pause.

Stop Doing More—Do Less

I know, I know—doesn’t sound like what you should be doing as a busy parent, right? But hear me out: sometimes the best way to reconnect with your kids is to actually do less, not more. I started experimenting with taking a moment to just pause during the day, and it’s been a game-changer.

Here’s how I do it: I find those everyday, boring tasks that my kids do—like putting on their shoes or getting their jacket on—and instead of rushing through it or trying to multitask, I make a choice to stop. I pause. I put down my phone, forget about the dishes, and give them my full attention for just a minute or two.

It doesn’t have to be a long time! Sometimes it’s 60 seconds. Sometimes I have the luxury of 5 minutes. And if I’m really feeling intentional, I’ll stretch it to 10. But I don’t rush. Instead, I might tell my kid, “You’re getting really good at tying your shoes,” or ask, “What color shoes should we get next?” More often, though, I just sit back and let them talk—without pressure. And let me tell you, I’m always surprised at what they’ll share when there’s no rush or agenda.

Pausing Helps You Stay Calm Too

As parents, we all hit those moments when we’re overstimulated or just plain tired. Maybe we snap at the kids or feel like they’re constantly interrupting us. I’ve been there. But instead of letting that frustration take over, I’ve learned to pause.

When I feel myself getting annoyed or overwhelmed, I take a deep breath and intentionally plug in for a few seconds. I choose to be fully present for a brief moment, even if it’s just for a minute or two. It’s amazing how much this small shift helps me calm down. After pausing, I feel more grounded and ready to tackle the next thing—whether it’s getting through the rest of my to-do list or just making it through another chaotic moment.

The Magic of the Car Pause

One of my favorite times to pause is when we’re getting in the car. Before we pull out of the driveway, I’ll turn around, give my kids eye contact, and just check in. It’s a few seconds of real connection—no distractions, no rushing. I might ask about their day, tell them a silly joke, or just share something I know will make them laugh.

It’s a small thing, but it’s like a little “microdose” of connection. That few seconds of eye contact or a quick conversation sets the tone for the drive, and honestly, it carries us through the rest of the day. It’s like we’re recharged, even if just for a moment.

Why It Works

The beauty of the pause is how simple it is. You don’t need to make huge changes to your routine or carve out extra time. All you have to do is press “pause” for a few seconds during a normal, everyday task. You’d be surprised at how much a tiny moment of connection can help you and your kids feel more grounded.

When I make a point to connect—however small the moment is—it shifts the whole dynamic. My kids feel seen, heard, and secure, and I feel more patient and less overwhelmed. It’s like we’re all a little more centered, and suddenly the day feels a lot more manageable.

Final Thoughts

Parenting in the modern world is busy, and it’s easy to get caught up in the rush. But sometimes, the most effective thing we can do is slow down and pause. It doesn’t have to be for long, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. Just a few seconds here and there to really connect can make a huge difference—both for your kids and for you.

So next time you’re running around feeling like there’s no time to breathe, try pressing “pause.” You might find that the simple act of connecting for just a moment will help you feel more grounded, more patient, and more ready to take on the next part of the day.

Give it a try, and let me know how it goes.

-Elizabeth