My kids went back to school this week, and I’m having a lot of mixed feelings.

I usually savor the slow pace of summer. I love the impromptu adventures. I love ditching our schedule in favor of ice cream before dinner or an extra hour at the pool. I even love the messes—the evidence that children really do live here and that we are, in fact, in the thick of it.

But this year, all four of us felt pretty ready for summer to end. We were itchy for routines. New teachers. New friends. New schedules. A fresh start.

We geared up for the first week with outfits picked out and meals prepped. We felt ready.

And then… the evenings happened.

Because even when kids are excited about going back to school, the first week of school can be a lot. There are new expectations to remember, new social dynamics to navigate, new routines to learn, and a whole lot of stimulation packed into one day.

It is incredibly common for kids to hold it together at school and then fall apart at home.

The tears over the wrong color cup. The meltdown about homework. The sudden declaration that they are NEVER going back to school. The sibling fight that escalates in approximately 14 seconds.

It can be hard not to think, What is happening?! We were doing so well!

But often, what is happening is simply this: your child feels safe enough at home to let it all out.

So, during those first few weeks of school, I try to keep these five things in mind.

1. FEED THEM.

Little brains need fuel.

Hunger can make an already-overwhelming day feel even more dysregulating, which is why I like to think beyond the traditional “after-school snack.”

Try offering a mini meal when your child gets home—something with both protein and carbohydrates that will actually fill them up.

A turkey sandwich. Yogurt and granola. A bowl of pasta. Peanut butter toast and fruit. Whatever works for your family.

I also find that my kids are so tired by dinner time during the first few weeks of school that they don't eat as much.

So if they eat a bowl of spaghetti at 4:00 p.m. and barely touch dinner at 7:00? I'm okay with it.

Fed kids have more capacity to cope.

2. GIVE THEM SPACE TO DECOMPRESS.

I know.

You want to hear everything.

Who did they sit with at lunch? What did their teacher say? Did they make a new friend? What happened in PE? What did they do at recess?

But after spending seven or eight hours processing information, following directions, navigating friendships, and managing their bodies and emotions, your child may not have much left to give.

Sometimes the best thing you can say when they walk through the door is:

“I’m so happy to see you. You don't have to tell me anything yet.”

Give them some time to recharge before launching into questions.

Connection doesn't always look like conversation.

3. AVOID MAKING PLANS THE FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL.

This one is harder with older kids, especially when sports and activities are already underway.

But when possible, I love keeping the first week of school wide open.

No extra commitments. No unnecessary errands. No pressure to make the most of every afternoon.

It gives everyone room to adjust.

Maybe dinner happens at 4:30 one night. Maybe bath gets skipped. Maybe bedtime is 30 minutes earlier. Maybe everyone ends up on the couch watching a movie.

And honestly? It helps the adults, too.

We're not rushing around trying to stick to a schedule, find cleats, pack a bag, make dinner, finish homework, and somehow remain calm through all of it.

The first week of school is a transition. Give your family permission to transition.

4. LEAN INTO CONNECTION.

Your child's brain is sorting through so much during these first weeks of school.

Rather than focusing exclusively on behavior, try focusing on connection.

Look for little ways to remind your child: You are loved. You are safe. You belong here.

Stick a note in their backpack. (I love using our Let's Shine cards for this!)

Frame a favorite photo from summer and put it in their room.

Add rainbow sprinkles to breakfast.

Let them crawl into bed with you for five extra minutes.

You don't need to do anything elaborate. In fact, the smallest gestures can sometimes mean the most.

When kids know they have a sturdy base at home, they have a safe place to return to after navigating a big, stimulating day.

5. DON'T SWEAT IT.

Let's be real: meltdowns are no fun.

It can be incredibly hard to stay calm when your child is crying over something that seems completely insignificant or losing it over the shoes you've asked them to put on approximately 47 times.

But try to remind yourself:

This is normal.

Transitions are hard—even positive ones.

Your child can be excited about school and overwhelmed by school.

They can love their new teacher and cry about going to school.

They can be ready for a routine and struggle immensely with the transition into that routine.

All of those things can be true at the same time.

So if this first week feels messy, exhausting, or nothing like the picture you had in your head, take a breath.

You don't need to fix everything.

You just need to get through the week.

There will be time for the routines to settle. There will be time for the schedules to smooth out. There will be time for everyone to find their rhythm.

For now?

Feed them. Give them space. Lower the expectations. Find the connection.

And remember that you are doing great—even when it isn't particularly pretty.

Because sometimes parenting isn't about creating the perfect transition.

Sometimes it's about being the safe place to land while your child finds their footing.

And honestly?

That's more than enough.