The In-Between Moments: The Secret to Connection in Parenting

As a parent, you’re probably no stranger to the pressure to create grand, memorable experiences. There’s a constant push to plan family vacations, elaborate birthday parties, or weekend adventures. And while these moments are wonderful and important, the reality is that most of our days aren’t filled with Instagram-worthy events. The truth is, connection doesn’t have to be elaborate, complicated, or unique—it can be simple, ordinary, and effortless.

What Are "In-Between Moments"?

In the midst of our busy lives, many of us don’t even notice the small opportunities for connection that happen naturally. The time spent in the car on the way to an appointment, the quiet moments while waiting for dinner to cook, or the brief pauses before transitioning from one task to the next—these are the "in-between" moments. While we might overlook them, these are often the moments where true connection can happen.

For example, what does your car ride to soccer practice look like? Is it a time filled with silence or the latest podcast playing in the background? Imagine instead playing a new song in the car that you can enjoy together. You might be surprised at how much your child enjoys hearing something new and the conversation that sparks from it. You’re not only filling the time with music but also fostering a shared experience.

Or think about those moments when you’re at the grocery store. Instead of rushing through the aisles, why not take a moment to engage your child in the process? Ask them to help you scan the groceries at the self-checkout, or turn choosing which fruit to buy into a game. You’re still accomplishing the task, but now there’s a sense of collaboration and fun, and your child feels involved and valued.

Even something as simple as brushing your teeth together at night can become a small ritual that strengthens your connection. Why not end it with a high-five in the mirror? It’s not a grand gesture, but it’s a shared, joyful moment that shows your child that you’re present with them.

The Pressure to Create Big Moments

I work with a lot of parents who express feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to create these larger-than-life, memorable moments for their children. They feel like every family gathering or weekend needs to be a production, something unforgettable and Instagram-worthy. But here's the thing: that kind of pressure can lead to burnout. When we’re constantly striving for perfection, we may miss the everyday moments that really count.

The key to feeling more relaxed and connected as a parent is understanding that these "big moments" aren’t the only ones that matter. Kids thrive on regular, positive interaction with their parents—no matter how small or simple. It’s the little things that add up over time to create lasting bonds. Instead of over-scheduling, try focusing on the everyday opportunities for joy, learning, and connection that already exist in your daily routine.

How to Make the Most of In-Between Moments

• Play a New Song in the Car: Rather than filling the drive with silence or checking your phone, choose a new song to listen to together. You might even make it a fun tradition to listen to a new song every week. It doesn’t matter if your child loves the song or not—it’s about sharing the experience together.
• Get Creative with Everyday Tasks: Involve your child in mundane tasks like folding laundry, setting the table, or doing dishes. Turn it into a game or make up a song as you work together. When your child feels involved, even in these small tasks, it fosters a sense of partnership and shared responsibility.
• Ask About Their Day During Transitions: Instead of rushing from one thing to the next, use transition times (like walking to the car after school) to ask your child about their day. Even a quick “What was the best part of your day?” can prompt a meaningful conversation.
• Create Simple Rituals: Maybe it’s a hug every morning before school, or a silly handshake after homework is done. These small rituals don’t take much effort, but they can become something your child looks forward to every day, helping you stay connected even in the midst of a busy schedule.
• Be Present During Routine Moments: Often, the most precious moments come when you least expect them—like when you’re helping your child tie their shoes or sitting down for a quick snack. Instead of multitasking, try to be fully present in these moments. Look them in the eye, listen to their little stories, or just be together without distractions.

The Magic of Ordinary Moments

At the end of a busy day, it’s easy to feel like you’ve run through a marathon of to-do lists, with little time for connection. But the magic isn’t necessarily in the big events; it’s in those small, ordinary moments that occur naturally throughout the day. If you look closely, you’ll see that these in-between moments—however fleeting—are the ones that nurture your relationship and build trust, love, and joy between you and your child.

So, next time you find yourself rushing to the next big event, take a moment to slow down and embrace the in-between. Whether it’s a quick chat on the way to soccer practice, a shared giggle during a routine task, or a quiet moment together before bed, these are the moments that matter. They don’t need to be planned or perfected—they just need to be shared. And before you know it, you’ll have created a collection of small, precious memories that will last far longer than any grand event.

Let’s take the pressure off and embrace the beauty of the ordinary, because in parenting, the in-between moments are often the ones that make all the difference.

-Elizabeth